


Static.

by IGotTooManyOTP



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Cutting, Trigger Warnings, suicidal thoughs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 04:55:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21130997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IGotTooManyOTP/pseuds/IGotTooManyOTP
Summary: This is a story of Ruby and her struggles.





	Static.

AN: This isn't my usual story. All happy and shit. This isn't like that at all.

~•~

Ruby raced up to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her as she blocked out her grandmother yelling at her for failing yet another test, telling her she'll go nowhere if she didn't get her act together, and for slamming the door.

Granny Lucas threatened to take the door off its hinges if she did it again.

She always threatened that, ever since the door slamming started.

"She seems mad," a soft voice said.

"I failed another test," Ruby said, looking up into the prettiest brown eyes she'd ever seen.

"You won't be able to go anywhere if you don't start studying."

"You sound just like her, Regina."

"You know we're both right. You said yourself that you don't want to take over the diner."

"True, but I also can't imagine my life outside of storybrooke."

"That's because you're not thinking of your future, Ruby. C'mon, you're better than this."

"Am I? Am I better than this? You know me, we've been friends since I was five. You've helped me stop bleeding at three in the morning when I cut myself. You've held me when I've sobbed so hard I can no longer breathe. Am I really better than this?"

"You are. I've said it before, I'll say it again. You are amazing, Ruby Lucas. You're kind, and beautiful. You're smart, strong, and have a heart of gold."

"Than why don't I want to do anything or go anywhere? Why don't I want to focus on school, why don't I want to live anymore?"

"I don't know, Ruby. Only you can answer that."

Ruby scoffed, kicking her shoes off and dropping onto her bed.

"Why don't I want to live, Regina?"

"Why don't you?"

"Everything feels numb, like static. Pins and needles, a weight on my chest so heavy it hurts to breathe."

Regina sat beside her, their fingers millimeters apart.

"Why do I feel nothing but everything at the same time?" Ruby asked, looking down at her scarred wrists as she flipped her hands into her lap.

"Who would even miss me if I were to go?"

"I would," Regina said softly.

Ruby scoffed a laugh, and before she could say anything else, her bedroom door opened.

"I'm sorry, Ruby," Granny said. "I know you're trying your hardest."

Am I though? Ruby thought to herself.

"It's fine, Granny."

"Wash up, dinner will be ready in a moment."

"I'm not hungry, Granny. Besides, I have to study for more tests. I'll eat later."

Granny nodded, pulling the door closed once more.

"She apologized."

"So she did," Ruby murmured, pushing herself up off her bed and made her way over to her desk.

"Are you really not going to eat, Ruby? You haven't eaten all day."

"I'm fine." The dismissive tone made silence creep into the room.

Ruby took the silence while she could and started on her homework, trying her hardest to understand all the equations in front of her.

~•~

The next day, Ruby bussed tables and waitressed the diner under the watchful eyes of her grandmother.

She didn't see Regina at all until she made her way up to her room at the end of the day. Tired, sore, and ready for bed despite it only being five thirty.

"Aren't you going to tell me how your day went?" Regina asked, making herself comfortable on Ruby's bed.

"You'd know if you bothered to turn up like you said you would," Ruby snapped, grabbing her towel and making her way to the adjoining bathroom.

"I got busy, I'm sorry."

"My day was fine," Ruby said, closing the bathroom door behind her before she started the shower up and stripped off.

As the water warmed, she eyed her body in the mirror, bringing a hand to her stomach to pull at the small amount of flab she had there.

Frowning, she dropped her hand once more and examined herself in the mirror, looking at the scars on her thighs, hips, biceps, ribs. Anywhere she could hide them with clothing, there were scars littering her skin.

Some fresher ones pulled as she raised her arms up to tie her hair up into a messy bun, causing her to wince.

Stepping into the scalding hot shower, Ruby let it wash over her skin for a moment, allowing the wounds on her thighs to burn beneath the water.

She grabbed her soap and started washing her body, starting on the cuts that were newer.

The soap clung to the scabs and dried blood, her nail scratched at the slits as they began to itch signalling they were healing.

Ruby set the soap on its holder and rinsed her body off, turning her back to the water, sighing as the pressure felt like it was impaling her skin.

Reaching for her razor, she snapped it apart, pulling its blade free and ran her finger over it. Blood bubbled quickly to the surface before the water washed it away.

Nodding, Ruby looked down at her body, staring at her stomach. She brought the blade down to her hip and drove it in, slicing from left to right. Deep red lines formed. Moving down slightly, Ruby repeated the motion. Two, three, four more times.

Satisfied, she dropped the small blade, watching as it slid across the tiled floor and down the drain.

Ruby smiled at the easy clean up.

"Hurry up, girlie. The towns gonna have no water left!" Granny called, banging on the wall.

Ruby shut the water off and stepped out of the shower. She grabbed a washcloth, folded it in half and applied pressure to her new wounds.

Moving to grab her pyjama pants from the edge of the sink, Ruby pulled them on and tucked the washcloth into its band to stop blood from getting onto her clothes.

"Took you long enough," Regina said as Ruby came back to her room, tugging a shirt onto her torso.

"Had to shave," Ruby said, shrugging.

"Why do you insist on lying to me?" Regina asked.

Ruby shrugged, slumping into the chair at her desk to work on her assignments.

~•~

"You haven't eaten in three days," Regina said, sitting on the edge of Ruby's desk.

"Yeah? Who's counting?"

"Me."

"You don't even see me at school, how would you know if I was eating or not?"

"Ruby," Regina said with a warning tone.

"Who cares, I'll eat when I'm hungry."

"It's not healthy."

"Neither is cutting every night in the shower, but nothing is going to change it."

"Why aren't you eating?"

"Quiet, Regina. I'm trying to work."

Silence.

Ruby didn't look up from her homework.

~•~

"_She's sick, Doc. What am I going to do?_"

Ruby blinked a few times, letting her eyes adjust to the blinding lights above her.

"_Mrs Lucas, she's practically skin and bone. She's covered in scars._"

Ruby looked around and saw she was in a hospital bed.

"You're awake."

Ruby groaned as she heard Regina speak.

"My heads throbbing, what happened?"

"You passed out, smacked your head on your desk."

"Ruby?" Granny asked, coming into the room. "God. You gave me a fright."

"Can I go home?"

"We'd like to keep you overnight for observation, you hit your head pretty hard," the doctor said, coming into the room, standing at the foot of the hospital bed.

Ruby groaned, rolling to face the window, pulling the blankets up over her shoulder.

"Ruby, I know you hate hospitals... but please, just do what the doctors ask and you can go home tomorrow, okay?"

"Mhm."

Granny sighed in defeat.

~•~

"You need to eat something, Ruby," Regina said as she paced by Ruby's bed.

"Not hungry."

"Please?"

"Later."

Ruby looked around her room before staring at the desk she knocked her head on. She wished she'd hit her head harder. So she wasn't alive anymore.

"Ruby."

"Yes granny?" Ruby looked up at her doorway, where her door used to be. Granny came good on her promise of removing her door.

"Your appointment with Dr Hopper is soon. Would you like me to come with you?"

"No."

"Are you going to go?" Granny asked.

"Yes."

~•~

Ruby sat cross legged on Archie's couch, a pillow in her lap as she played with the corner of it.

Archie cleared his throat, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Ruby?"

"What?"

"I asked how you were."

"Fine. Tired, though."

"When did you eat last?"

Ruby shrugged, looking down at the pillow.

"When did you hurt yourself last?"

"Twenty minutes ago."

"Where? How?"

"My thigh, in the shower, picking at old wounds."

"Why?"

"To try and feel something. Why am I here?"

"Because you're a minor who's hurt themselves and the court ordered these appointments so you can keep living with your grandmother."

Ruby sighed, tucking her hair behind her ears.

Right. That.

"Talk to him," Regina urged.

"Shut up," Ruby whispered.

"I'm sorry?" Archie asked.

"Not you. Her." Ruby nodded her head towards Regina.

Archie looked in the direction Ruby gestured to and then looked back at Ruby.

"What's her name?" Archie asked, writing a note down on his notepad.

"Regina."

"How old is Regina?"

"My age."

Archie scribbled a few notes down this time, causing Ruby to cock her head to the right.

"What?"

"How long have you known Regina?"

"Since I was five."

Archie nodded.

"Tell me more about your relationship with Regina."

"She mostly comes over after a bad day, or when I'm feeling anxious."

"You brought her today, why?"

"Didn't want to come alone. Why aren't you talking to her?"

"Because this session is about you, Ruby."

Ruby nodded, continuing to play with the corner of the pillow, keeping her eyes on her hands.

"How often do you talk to her?" Archie asked.

"All the time."

"So she's good to talk to?"

"Sometimes."

"Is it easy to talk to her?"

"Not always."

"How did you meet her?"

Ruby shrugged. "I don't know, she was just there one day and has been there ever since."

"Do you talk to her at school?"

"No, she doesn't go to my school."

"Where does she go?"

"Home schooling."

"Where does she live?"

Ruby opened her mouth to say something before closing it again and shrugging.

"Never been there. She always comes to my place."

"Does your grandmother like her?"

Ruby thought for a moment before shrugging again.

"She hasn't said anything bad about her ever."

Archie wrote on his pad before placing the pen back down.

~•~

"Do you feel better after talking to him?" Regina asked, sitting on Ruby's bed.

"Kinda, sorta, not really," Ruby said, shrugging.

She kicked her shoes off, not caring that they didn't exactly land where she wanted them to before she moved to sit on her bed, fluffing her pillows up before laying back against them.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Ruby said, closing her eyes, throwing an arm over her face to block out the sunlight coming through the window.

"Ruby, time to eat, girlie. Come on."

Ruby sighed and pushed herself up off the bed, making her way downstairs.

She heavily dropped into her usual seat and started cutting up the meat on her plate.

"How was your day, Granny?"

"It was fine, yours?"

"So, So." Ruby shrugged, moving the cut up pieces to the side of her plate.

She wasn't hungry, so she wasn't planning on eating, so she distracted her grandmother with questions as she cut everything up into small pieces and pushed it to the side of her plate.

She went to bed after a long shower and fell into a deep sleep.

~•~

"Ruby."

"What, Regina?"

"I always come to you, why don't you come to me?"

"I dunno. You're always here when I get home, never see the point in going out."

"Why don't you come for a walk with me?"

"Now?"

"Why not?"

Ruby shrugged and made her way over to her shoe rack, pulling on her already laced up converse.

"Lead the way."

Making their way downstairs, Ruby briefly locked eyes with her grandmother. "Going for a walk, Granny."

"Be back by dinner, please."

Ruby nodded and pulled the door open, following Regina down the street.

"Where are we going?"

"To my special place."

"You have a special place? How? You're always with me."

Regina stayed silent, leading Ruby down a trail through the woods.

The trees grew thicker and closer together until they came to a clearing.

Ruby felt the familiar feeling of static in her veins as she took a seat beside Regina on the edge of the cliff, overlooking the town.

"Why are we here?"

"I thought you could use a break from being cooped up in your room."

Ruby nodded, swinging her feet, looking at how far the drop was off the edge of the cliff.

"What's that?" Ruby asked, pointing to something sticking out of the dirt. She grabbed a nearby stick and started scraping the dirt away.

"Oh god."

Standing quickly, Ruby started running.

She ran till her lungs hurt, pushing the door to the diner open and kept running till she found her grandmother in the kitchen.

"Granny, the Woods..."

"What about them?"

"I found something. You have to come quick. Call the cops."

"What? Take a breath girl, you're making no sense."

"Granny, call the fucking cops."

~•~

Leading the sheriff through the woods, Ruby stayed in step with her grandmother.

"What did you find?"

"You'll see."

When they got to the clearing, Ruby picked the stick up again and pointed.

The sheriff crouched down, examining the find.

He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and looked at it before looking back down at the ground and stood.

"Do you know this girl?" The sheriff asked, showing Ruby the paper.

"That's Regina, my friend."

"Ruby, this girl has been missing for a week."

"What are you talking about? I talk to her every day. She always comes over. She's always up in my room." Ruby quickly turned to face her grandmother. "Granny, tell him."

"I've never seen that girl in my life," Granny said, looking past the sheriff to the ground where the body was half showing.

"What?" Ruby choked, pointing to the picture. "That's Regina. I've been her friend since we were five."

"Ruby, you've never brought a friend home."

~•~

"What is she talking about, Archie?" Ruby asked, pacing his office, glancing at her grandmother who came along for the session. "You spoke to Regina last session."

"N-No, I spoke to you, Ruby."

Ruby frowned, shaking her head.

"No, we were speaking to her. Talking about how she's always with me."

"Ruby, I'm sorry. But, Regina isn't real."

"What are you talking about? Of course she's real. I'm not insane."

"I never said you were. Seeing things is a form of mental illness."

"So I'm mental?"

"No, Ruby. You're sick."

Ruby looked at Archie, then to granny.

"You're both wrong. Regina isn't some dead body found in the woods. She's real."

"When did you last see Regina?" Archie asked.

"Yesterday, at the clearing before I found the body."

"Regina's body."

"It wasn't Regina!" Ruby yelled, running a hand through her hair.

"The DNA confirmed it was, Ruby," Granny said, eyeing her granddaughter.

Ruby shook her head, dropping to her knees with a heavy thunk.

"No, she's real... she's real. Regina's real."

~•~

Sitting on her bed, Ruby stared at her door, thankful granny put it back on.

She shook her head, thinking about everything that's happened in the past two days.

"She's real," Ruby murmured to herself.

"Who is?"

"You are!" Ruby said, looking up at Regina. "Aren't you?"

"Am I?"

Ruby reaches out, pins and needles shooting up her arm as her hand passed right through Regina's body.

~•~

Soooo, that's the end. Don't ask me why. This is just where I thought I should end it.

Thanks for reading.

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